Recently, I've been drinking from the community watering hole, also known as the office coffee pot. Creamer is 100% necessary as this coffee tastes like feet. But treachery abounds. Below is the situation as shared via email with my office partner in crime (here after known as Lady Portia).
Mike: I brought in my own coffee creamer because I hate that powdered stuff. It has my name on it so that the cleaners don't toss it on the weekend. I think some one else is using it. I'm setting up a sting.
Lady Portia: Haha...if you put a fabulous coffee creamer in the communal kitchen, people will surely use it. They think, "My that Mike's a nice guy. This creamer is delish!" Now is your chance to revoke their creamer usage by taking it back and housing it in your cube for personal coffee tastiness.
M: I am not a nice guy. I am not the creamer provider for the known free world. Let them suffer without creamer, if they don't have the initiative they should be buried in their own brew with a packet of Sweet & Low through their heart.
It needs to be refrigerated, otherwise I would. All for michael! All for michael!
LP:"My that Mike's a nice guy. This creamer is delish!"
M: This sounds very Lemmony Snicket
LP: Otherwise, you'll have to get used to the idea that seven people are using your creamer...and that it will shortly be going, going, gone. ; )
M: In my best evil German accent "Zer must be a vay to take car of zis zituation"
LP: P.S. If your co-op coffee creamer was organic and lovely...I'd run upstairs and steal it, too. Haha.
M: My coffee creamer is a lovely gingerbread spice. However I anticipated your plan to steal it and loaded it with sorbates, phosphates and petro chemicals. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! You have once again been thwarted.
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