I Walked With a Zombie

Tonight I had an encounter with the living dead. I was out for my evening walk about. It was about 10:00 and I was passing between a small neigborhood into the back area of a not quite finished condo complex. The weeds grow tall on this undeveloped land. The only light was provided by the dim moon, shrouded behind a cover of clouds. I was blissfully unaware as my ipod blasted an upbeat dance tune. I think I smelled it first. A brief passing of the unmistakable, reaking fetid odor of death. I had worn the same shirt out walking for 4 nights in a row, but i was sure this smell was coming from the zombie I was about to come across. From the corner of my eye, a flurry of motion caught my attention and that's when I saw it. The zombie looked as if it was beckoning something out of the weeds. Perhaps a zombie dog or a hoard of brain eaters. I couldn't be sure. As she stood in the crossroads, she lifted her hands high above her head. It was here that i noticed her torn pants and her boob hanging out of her tank top. What is it about the naked living dead that is more disturbing then the regular living dead? The breast was pale, slightly ashen. I tried to ignore both the zombie and the breast that was confronting me. I skulked around the corner, just trying to pass her as hurridly and unnoticed as possible. She brought her hands down and grunted. Fearing for my life and my big delicious brain, i decided that now would be a good time for a nice heart-rate rising sprint. Though I heard the shuffle and dragging of footsteps behind me, I either outran her or she found another poor soul to devour and initiate into the world of the damned.

The moral of this story: Don't do tai chi in the road, in the middle of nowhere, at night. And wear a bra.