Duck Rape

Recently a friend (who shall remain nameless for the sake of dignity) confided to me that she was home watching an episode of Blind Date (don't scoff, you've watched it too). The date featured a lovely picnic and stroll by an idyllic lake with ducks swimming on its glass like surface. At this point, the guy sees it completely appropriate to mention that the only animals that engage in rape are humans, ducks, and dolphins. Whoa! Date Over! I'll admit that I am a repository of random facts, most completely inappropriate outside of a German sheisse fest. However, I try to restrain these "Can you here the lambs screaming Clarice" factoids to well lighted areas where multiple people are gathered as to not completely freak them out.

Despite the social ineptitude of this man, who I suspect will be alone forever, I had to know. I turned to my trusty friend, the Internet. I recommend not typing the phrase "Duck Rape" into Google. Duck rape is a fact of duck life, though scientists refer to it as "rape flight."

For the intensely curious and those not putt off by the phrases "maze-like vagina" and "corkscrew shaped penis", click this link. Oh yeah, there's also pictures of duck genitals, which are both revolting and fascinating and will leave you wondering how the hell ducks are not extinct. And just try to ignore the fact that there are pins tacking the duck wang to the picture's background (take that, rapist!).

I should note that not all ducks are rapists, mostly drakes and mallards who make up part of the 3% of the bird population who have penises. Most birds, male and female, have similar genitals consisting of a small opening which they rub together in what is called a "cloacal kiss." Well isn't that just sweet. Some how this reminds me of South Park's Mr. Garrison's concept of "scissoring."

About the dolphins....I just didn't have the heart to look it up. Nature is disgusting.